Memoirs of a Monkey Man

Cheers to 2011

2011-01-01T12:33:00.000-08:00

I have always felt that the celebration on New Year's eve is so meaningless as what is 1st January 2011? It is just the day after 31st December 2010, just like 2nd January is a day after 1st January. But now I see the reason behind celebrating the new year. A new year gives a person hope.... hope that this time it can be different. If you didn't succeed the last time, this time you can. If there was something that you wanted to do but could not for some reason, now you can start again. And even if a person changes everything about himself, picks up new habits, let's go of some old ones or tries to be a different person altogether, no one frowns or questions if that day happens to be the 1st of January.
2010 was a year that I will always remember in my life. A complete fun-filled roller coaster ride it was. Now let's think how we can ensure 2011 to be infinitely better. In what ways am I going to change myself? Hmmm.. not many but I definitely want to remind myself of one thing - to make every moment count. One really can't be sure of anything in life. Maybe that is what makes it so amazing and that is why I think it is very important to enjoy every second...and this is how I plan to make the most of 2011...

More 'family' in life - Because they matter the most and specially the one tiny addition coming in a few months (he/she is going to be the cutest there has ever been)

More music in life - from the songs of Aandhi to remixes like Bin tere Sanam, from Jhoka hawa ka to Sheila ki Jawani, from Oasis to Linkin Park...(add the Roger Waters concert to that please!)

More physical activity in life - regular gym, tennis, swimming and anything that I can find a partner for (no dancing, sorry)

More fun in life- no more being lazy on weekends; if possible, rope in the weekdays as well (without compromising on sleep obviously)

More food in life - try out the good stuff like Nobu, Amaya, Arbutus etc without ignoring the likes of Chipotle, Ping Pong and other regular favourites (yummm)

More travel in life - from Cancun to Turkey, Morocco to Iceland, I must travel (I must I must)

And finally, more words in life - staying in touch with old friends and maybe a bit more frequent blogging :)

I think with all of the above, 2011 should be a smashing year! Hakuna Matata - no worries and have a blast. That is my mantra for 2011 and that is how it is going to be!

A Solution to the "Flipped Socks" Embargo

2010-05-29T07:33:00.000-07:00

It was the mind of a genius who had come up with the idea to flip socks inside out and wear them again the next day. Simple idea in hindsight, but one that reduced man's efforts by half thus increasing efficiency "two-fold", literally! Sadly, this well kept secret was revealed to the whole world by Mr. Prasoon Joshi, lyricist of Hum Tum. Since then, I think girls have always kept an eye out for guys who are wearing socks inside out and instead of appreciating their efforts to conserve manpower, which is a form of energy and even President Obama would agree that we should save energy, they have always looked at them with derision. Now, I have come up with a solution to the same problem. Why not wear one sock inside out the first time and the other one straight? Next time you can flip them both. This way, when caught, you can always say that you put on one of them the wrong way by mistake - a very believable argument, and can continue enjoying the fruits of man's genius while contributing to the environment by conserving energy! :)

P.S. I know I can never use this strategy since my girlfriend now knows but this is my sacrifice so that all you guys, who can claim that they have never read this blog, can be the lazy bums we are meant to be.

2010-04-13T11:55:00.000-07:00

Today I realized 3 things...
1. the name of my blog is very very long...
2. when drunk, it is extremely difficult to type correctly...
and 3. it's been quite long since I wrote something, must make amends!

Also, my new routine for Saturday nights is to party until the wee hours of Sunday (and then spend Sunday sleeping and ironing clothes with a hangover). From my recent outings, have picked up a couple of 'club' nos. that you might enjoy!

Here they are...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3RIQ3PoLRgQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jzy2dgEUOhY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9k1iyptxgfo

Have fun! :)

A Match Made in Heaven

2009-12-17T10:55:00.000-08:00

***Disclaimer: The characters in the post below might resemble someone but it is not based on me or anyone I know personally. Also, I am not making fun of the tradition of arranged marriage or the science of astrology. I am just writing something which might make the reader laugh***

I still remember the first day my parents saw her... she was wearing a yellow salwaar kameez and had the prettiest face they had ever seen and the photographer must have been a professional too, as that 6"x4" matte finish picture left an indelible mark on my parents' hearts after just one glance. Of course there had been many prettier envelopes before this but this one seemed to come from a family expert in the art of arranged marriage. It had all the tiny things that would surely seal the deal...the Om on the front, the sindoor on the back, a CV running into 4 pages and last but not the least, the janampatri. Having half made their minds that this was the perfect girl for me after seeing her photograph (both close-up and full length), they decided to research a little bit more. After all, it was the matter of their only son's life. They passed on her CV to me and asked me to see if I liked what was in there. I could not believe it! Did I really have a say in all this? Who says society is still not modern enough in India? But by the time I had read through her education and was about to check her hobbies (which I knew would be "cooking, reading, writing..." from the numerous CVs before this), my parents asked me to skip to the important things! Ummm... isn't the girl's hobbies and her likes/dislikes important? Apparently not as important as her family lineage. So we flipped to the next page and then on was a complete list of who's who in her family.. immediate family, joint family, extended family, exaggerated family... mama is CEO in this big MNC (impressive), chacha is a teacher, mausa's tauji is an IAS (ecstasy) and all women in the family are house-wives (strong traditional culture). Perfect, family is definitely worth marrying their son off into. Sorry? The girl wants to work in an MNC? Ohh, she surely doesn't know the joy in being a house wife and raising children and making home. It'll be alright, the family was the best we had seen. But the approval from the highest authority still remained... the stars. Our family pundit ji had come over, feasted on a rice-fish lunch (fish is cold, hence considered vegetarian... our pundit ji did not take ginger/onions in his food either). The stars had blessed us, the sun was in the perfect position when I was born according to the girl's moon position, so together we would be as complete as a whole day. That was good, I did not like incomplete days as well. So all was set, my future wife had been approved from the photograph, family accepted and blessed by the stars. So I was dying to meet my wife-to-be. But then I was told that that was not the protocol. My parents first met their parents (thankfully this time it was just her parents and not her extended family or that would have taken a decade in itself!). My dad asked her dad where he worked, when was he retiring, how had the 6th pay commission affected him, while my mom and her mom discussed Ranbir-Katrina affair, chicken recipes and grocery prices. That meeting was also declared a success. Only after that was I taken along by my parents to see the girl in person. We were also allowed to talk in private (another sign of the 'broad-minded'-ness of us Indians now). I asked her what she knew about me and she said ..."Nothing!"..."Ji mummy-papa ne aapke baare mein sab pata kar liya hai. Unhone thik hi socha hoga." Her capacity to love and trust bowled me over. I fell in love with her immediately and wanted to marry her that same day. This had nothing to do with the fact that I had grown up in a small village and had never talked to another girl before, let alone ever touch one. I thought that maybe, in all those papers and photographs, somewhere, somehow, smart people can find the perfect match for anyone. And the best part of an arranged marriage system - even if one is a total duffer and unable to find anyone who could fall in love with him, he still gets a wife.

...and Then What?

2009-08-30T03:46:00.000-07:00

I have loved science ever since I was a little boy (except biology, of course, cos I was a boy!). How it explains so many things that would have driven anyone crazy if he sat down to think about it and did not know the answer. Like why does the apple fall to the ground? The phenomenon of day and night and the whole process of evolution (although some people still proudly exhibit traits of their ancestors...). Science is also about the inventions that we now take for granted, from the first fire to the modern day nuclear reactors, from the wheel to the space shuttles and from penicillin to the Human Genome Project. But lately this love has been dwindling.
I know science is on this agenda to explain every bit of human life, from the nano particles to the solar system, from the past to the future but personally I feel that some things should be left a mystery. Does it help to know that the emotions we feel, be it love or affection or anger are mere electrical impulses sent from the brain to some other part of the brain? Does it help to know that human beings came into existence by a string of accidents and the coincidental match of the perfect atmosphere on this planet? Or does it help to know that when people die, they just die and there is nothing after that, nothing beyond but just memories?
I like to believe that emotions arise from the heart and that the only purpose of heart is not to pump blood but also to give life a meaning (although i know that the only purpose of the heart actually is to pump blood), and I like to believe that after people die, they don't just vanish but move onto something better, or start the whole process again. Life is so beautiful that I don't like the idea that this is the only opportunity I have got to gaze at the northern lights or marvel at the glowing waters of bio bays. I like to believe that after all this, there will be a time when I won't have to earn money or book flights to go from one place to another but I can just close my eyes and be there.
On the positive side, at least science has given me the warning that this might be the only chance and that I should not waste precious moments doing nothing (which I do a lot!). Sometimes I wonder, what will the poets write about if everything in this world becomes run-of-the-mill phenomenon and nothing can be left to imagination? I wonder when does knowledge become too much knowledge? I guess it's every person's right to draw his or her own line. Just like my mother drew a line at television with regards to technology, I am drawing my line here regarding life and its meaning.

Tokyo

2009-06-14T00:45:00.001-07:00

Ok, so now that I know Japanese, everything from 'hello' to 'bye' (some exceptions being the words in between), the city does not look so alien anymore! Surprisingly, it has a way of charming you with its strangeness. This would not work with the 'ultra-mod-hep-city' facade for someone who has been to London or NYC but there is more to Tokyo than that and to find that, you have to find your way through the forest!

This is the entrance to the Meiji forest, which is home to Tokyo's largest shrine. Now when I heard shrine, I thought it would be a statue of Buddha or something but actually most of the Japanese follow some other religion. So the things I saw were quite new, and weird (in keeping with Japan's tradition of being weird) but pretty in its own way.

I think you can see the path that leads to the shrine, here are the details - imagine a wide, very wide path made of gravel... there are no modern roads here. Leaves strewn around like the ones in Central Park in autumn (I haven't seen that myself but hear from reliable sources that they look pretty amazing, hence the comparison) and huge, huge trees all around you which go up to 20-30 m in height and then get tangled amongst each other to block out the view of the sky. Rays of light still make their way to the ground through the windows of error in the chaotic mesh above.

When it gets dark, these pretty lamps light up and help you on your way to the center of the forest. Once can't see the bulbs in these lamps and so it is pretty easy to imagine a candle burning inside, which makes you feel that you are far away from technology, close to nature and going back in time.

The entrance to the actual shrine is huge, completely made of wood. This must have been built in time when there was no concrete, yet the symmetry so right, the finishing so smooth and the architecture so amazing and different - you always end up praising ancient knowledge and wisdom. I remember seeing such structures in Kung-Fu movies, like the Chambers of Shaolin, when I was a kid. From the movies it seemed that every kid's life revolved around Kung-Fu, his master and his temple. Maybe this was the Japanese equivalent of the Gurukul system.

The shrine itself was just a building in which people clapped their hands twice, then bowed before something which looked to me like a stack of wood. There was a big courtyard in the middle with birds flying around. Again, all made of wood and very pretty.

There is a tree with a wall around it, on which you can hang small tablets of wood with your prayers written on it. Yes, the small brown things you see are pieces of wood, 5" by 3" with someone asking for happiness, someone for success, someone for world peace and numerous other Japanese prayers that I could not read. I put one up there as well :). Hope it comes true!

With that done, there's nothing more left for you to do, so I started on my way out. After walking for 20 min, I came out at the Shibuya station, which is supposed to be the busiest crossing in the world (I think it really is)...

...and helicopters and bullet trains around you. Welcome back to Tokyo!

Cities of the World

2009-06-08T04:34:00.000-07:00

After a very very long time, I have found some time to sit and write about some of the thoughts that had crept into my mind during the last couple of months, but I never got the chance to put them on paper (or screen). That is because the past few months have been so hectic, with trips home, exams knocking on the door (yesss, muggoo, fighter, crazy..whatever ;)), that I really haven't had the time to relax and collect my thoughts. So it finally happened in a foreign land, where I should be roaming around and exploring the city but frankly, today I am just too tired. So, let me try to clear the backlog I have... FIFO (blame cfa for that)...

London vs. New York

Supposedly these are the two best cities in the world. Yet somehow, I always get a very different feeling when I am there. This is what I feel about the top 2 contenders for the "greatest city of the world" title:

NYC is more steel, London is plastic. In NYC, the subway trains are made of steel, the stair cases going up and down are old fashioned regular steel stairs, getting rusted on more edges than one. London, on the other hand, is more conscious of how it looks. Whatever can be plastic, (and pretty), is plastic (and pretty). London has escalators everywhere. Everything that could be mechanized, is. Even the police keeps its eyes on the streets via video cameras. No wonder the British government needs to tax its citizens 40% of their income! In NYC, on the other hand, police cars are more ubiquitous than taxis (ok, that was an exaggeration, but they are a close second!). In London, revolving doors to your office keep moving at a slow pace, on their own, while in NYC, you have to push the revolving door so hard that you tend to wonder how you are gaining weight even after all of this exercise. I guess what I am trying to say is that London gives you a very relaxed, calm and soothing feeling. It's pretty, quiet and mellow. It's like a puppy. You lie down and then it will slowly cuddle around you. NYC on the other hand is full of action. It's 'life in the fast lane'. If you don't keep up, you will be left behind. You have to fight, you have to be tough. It gives the adrenaline kick to those who value success the most. It's the city where legends are made. It's like an untamed stallion, which will fight you but if you win, you will be content in the end. NYC is the factory of the world. London is the corporate head office. Iron moves in the underbelly of NYC while London sits in an air-conditioned office completing its paperwork. Steam billows out from NYC while London tastes wine. So I guess it boils down to what kind of a person you are? Are you one who values a good work-life balance, seeks beauty and wants to have time to pursue your hobbies or are you a person who values success the most, who doesn't mind working as long as it brings you money and fame, and who measures the quality of life by prestige and honor?

P.S. Currently I am in Tokyo, which seems like a crazy city to me (Nunni, I can't understand how you liked this city!!). Everything is colored red yellow or pink, everything is cartoon and streets have no names (yup, they don't... there is a Japanese way to hone in on a destination by numbers which even the locals don't understand completely!!)

Had it been like that...

2009-02-21T06:17:00.000-08:00

So someone recently planted the idea of alternate universe in my mind and I started thinking, what would I be, had I gone a different way at some important junctures in my life...

Year 2001, Std XI: I had done well in Class X and decided that I had studied enough and thought of taking a break from it. I had had to change schools because my earlier school did not have +2, and because of this, I lost some very close friends (although later on, I made some very good new ones as well). Hence initially, I befriended some guys who were known to be part of regular street fights and indulge in weed and maybe also drugs (who knows!). I found that lifestyle very different and exciting - not care about studies, roam around on bikes, be a part of a local gang and the thrill of being in actual street fights (with hockey sticks and chains). I must say, I am proud to be the only one amongst my friends who had moved onto this lifestyle but never got beaten up, because no matter how thrilling, I always had an intelligent mind which told me when it was time to start my bike and run away ;).
How did I manage to get my life back on track? Well, one of my new friends got involved in a Police case, a kidnapping one at that, and he pulled in an old friend of mine into it as well. It was then that I realized that if I didn't want to end up behind the locker some day, then I should concentrate on what others say is the safe way to success - clear the IITJEE! Had I stayed with them, I am sure I would have been locked up a couple of times and would be currently working in a call center somewhere. I would have been very unhappy but, I am sure, no matter what, I would have had a bike!

Year 2002, IITJEE: The 4 golden years of my life. I don't know what I would be without it. Let's imagine. I had very clearly laid out plans in case I did not clear the IITJEE. Since I had not taken any other test, I would join FIITJEE classroom coaching in Delhi and then take all the exams next time around. So I would have lived in Delhi when I was 17 years old. That means a bike, clubbing, stylish clothes, maybe lenses and shades, DU girls...hmmm, I doubt I would have cleared the IITJEE from Delhi. So, I guess, I would have joined some other college, maybe some NIT. Having been accustomed to living in Delhi, I am sure I would not have studied, been the founder of a biker's club and would have had a lot of fun in the 4 years of college and would have passed out with an IT job. So I might have ended up in Bangalore, as someone who enjoyed clubbing and loud rock music (as every Bangalorean has to) and might have also had a Bangalore girl as my girlfriend, the "clubber" type! I am sure I would have definitely had a bike though!

Year 2004, 2nd Year, IIT KGP: My plan, after joining IIT was to go to the USA. I had thought of IIT as that, a ticket to the USA. I think I might have been the only person who bought a Barron's guide for GRE in my first semester. It's a completely different matter that I never opened it after that. I think it didn't even stay in my room after 1st Year. A dear friend of mine took it and is now currently in Atlanta, Georgia, doing his PhD! Ahhh, it sounds like one of those stories where one friend sacrifices a lot to buy his friend books and then see him succeed, doesn't it! Hehehe. Even after my 1st year, I didn't know what IIM was, although my brother had already spent a year in IIMA.
What made me decide against GRE? You wouldn't believe it, nobody ever does but it is the truth - the movie "A Beautiful Mind". Having seen that movie, I thought how strange it would be studying without another Indian around, and professors who could be such not jobs (ironic, I know!)Thus GRE went out the door, but had it not, I would like to think that I would have made it to some nice college. Maybe not MIT or Stanford (as no good professor would recommend me ever ;)), but definitely some other nice college (kindly excuse my lack of knowledge of other US colleges, just goes on to show my level of interest in GRE). Having decided to not waste my 3rd year mugging up words, I squeezed every ounce of fun that KGP had to offer and regarding future, the only option left was to do what intelligent, logical and smart elder brother had decided to do... take the CAT! And the best part of those 4 years was that it was all about power, politics, sports, friends and my bike!

Year 2006, CAT: This was the time when I had to choose between many options, but all good. I had record number of job offers from KGP - HLL,ITC, Schlumberger. The last one, although was very rewarding monetarily, had been decided against due to the possibility of living in Nazira (snake infested rig in Asam) or Venezuela (where Slb employees were escorted to the rigs by armed guards) or in the middle of a sandy desert in the Middle east...or even Kakinada for that matter (a small village in Andhra Pradesh, where I had interned). And between ITC and HLL, the recognition and prestige that a Unilever carried had trumped ITC. After a lot of logic had been thrown around, it was down to IIMB or HLL. With HLL, my plan was to work for 3 years, then go to Harvard (which was the usual thing for many IIT grads who joined HLL).
Why did I choose IIM? My brother asked me if I was sure I would have the enthusiasm to study for Harvard after working for 3 years. I was sure I would not! Still, had I joined HLL, as a very good friend of mine did, I would have been making decent money, would have been in India, close to my parents, and would have had no job insecurity. Mumbai would have been my second home and I would be posted in one of those little towns like Khamgaon or Pondicherry, where HLL employees are considered the smartest people around! I might have been applying for Harvard, might have decided against it, like my friend... but I would be happy and would have definitely had a bike!

So I think that although some options did come close, I took the best decision at every possible stage. I sincerely thank all those involved in the decision making process - be it my persistent mother who prides on having pulled me back from the dangerous lifestyle, my HLL friend who made me study for IIT seriously, the Hollywood industry for making me realize how much I love India and being amongst Indians and of course, my brother who knew me well enough to show me the path that best suited me.
How have I fared? I have still not been locked up, I work in a very reputed firm and industry (definitely reputed till some time back ;)), make decent money, play badminton and swim in weekends and am definitely very happy! Alas, I don't have a bike!

The year that was - 2008

2009-01-25T06:24:00.000-08:00

If you know me, you will also know that I am terrible at remembering things. I am someone who lives in the present and I tend to remember only the things which I have made an effort to imprint in my memory, like stuff for exams etc. Still, this tag should be a good mental exercise (and maybe more proof that it is not my fault if I forget things - I am just made that way).

Blogs started: Two (this one still survives!)

Blogs ended: One - that's just plain subtraction

Good holidays: Three
Delhi - wedding celebration and no responsibility!
Singapore - the perfect surprise!
New York - It's like my second home now :)

Weddings attended: 2.9
Senior monkey, Piki di and 0.9 for leaving on the day before my cousin's marriage

Good movies seen: wow! here we go... The Dark Knight, Slumdog Millionaire, Singh is King, Dostana, Ironman, Wall-e, Madagascar 2, Jannat...the list can go on and on :)

So-so movies seen: Defiance, The Duchess, Ghajini... can't remember others

Bad movies seen: Very tough for movies to be put into this category by me, but those that managed were High School Musical 3 (what the hell was that??), De Taali (Riteish Deshmukh does it again)

...and after thinking for an hour, I have come to conclusion that presently I have run out of questions. So until I can come up with more (maybe you guys can help :)), sayonara!

A Monkey in Wonderland

2009-01-11T04:46:00.000-08:00

A very happy new year to all ye readers! It has been a long time since I last shared my wisdom (a doubtful concept, I know) through my blog but that was because I was so busy living life that I did not get a chance to put it down in words.
The new year has brought a lot of good news. A rotation on a desk where the manager willingly shares awesome bananas with me (sometimes yummy oranges too), confirmation of a permanent job, comrades of the human origin getting married (although I have been told by Nunni that monkeys should believe in free love!) and dismissal of crazy ailments...and all this, I guess because of how I ended the last year.
There hadn't been a vacation I had waited for more impatiently than the December break (although now I have another one - a Caribbean fiesta I am planning for April). Nonetheless, the reason for the "awesome" factor in both remains the same. I know it's easy to guess it's me, but it actually is someone else(who, by the way still thinks she belongs to the human species).
So, the trip had started off with a flight to the center of human society, New York City. I had known that it had snowed the last night but I did not expect the sight that greeted me when the flight landed in JFK. It seemed like I was landing on the clouds. Everything was snow white, which is not a metaphor because everything WAS snow! There was not an inch of cement that was the dull brown color that it usually is. Of course, you tend to stand and stare at such beautiful sights only as long as you are protected from the hair-rising cold by a heated shelter, because I don't remember how the landscape of America looked while I was on my way to that shelter. It was somewhere in New York's suburbs, an area that I think the State of New York donated as part of charity to a neighboring state and ironically, they now call it some "city"! Anyway, you eventually tend to like wherever your home is, and that was my home for for next 10 unforgettable days and hence I love it now (but only as long as the "home" is still there). But nothing can make me forget the face that greeted me. It still is the prettiest sight for me, the most beautiful person bundled up like a polar bear, who, I found out later, had been out on an adventure of her own. Well, then on, I never felt the cold - even when I was roaming around in the city with snow all around and winds howling at sub-zero levels, thanks to my companion and her zany chatter. Ohh, what a holiday it was! It had the social party moments, the nostalgic 'old friends' moments, the exciting 'new friends' moments, and the some special moments! It ranged from trying out amazingly yummy new Belgian desserts in the middle of the night at Union Square to roadside pita bread dinners to tried-and tested Max Brenner's chocolate indulgence (where, I might also add, I caught fire!!). It involved a lot of shouting cum singing at Karaoke bars, some ice skating - plans of the original thing and some accidental roadside skating (more slipping actually) and festive get together parties with aboriginal 'Mafia'.
The Central Park was as beautiful as it could be, with the frozen lake and all the ducks gathered in a small corner of the lake that was graced by sunlight and remained in its original form. I don't know how it could look more beautiful in autumn. Little sparrows sipped in their day's quota of water, lest they feel thirsty when the water freezes up later in the day. The trees stood naked, the sky was blue (something I have learnt to appreciate while living in London) and the sun was shining bright (which is pretty much a 'Northern Lights' kind of phenomenon for me now).
Having had our tryst with nature, we headed for some conventional fun - caught an Aamir Khan movie and made fun of the 'Tam' level action and other Hindi movie stupidities but also appreciated the good stuff, extant only because it was an Aamir Khan movie (although I must say that even with only stupidity, I still love Bollywood :)). There was the Christmas spirit all around us, with people celebrating and dancing and singing and we joined in the revelry. There was the magic of Village, the non-corporate New York living it up. There were the walks down the memory lane - in the Financial District, in Midtown and in Times Square (of course!). There was a shopping binge, a lot of gifts bought and many more fond thoughts sent half-way around the world.
It definitely was an out-of-the-world experience for me. I have left my abode in the wilderness long back, but I had not had so many marvelous things thrust upon me at the same time. Being with a very close friend, after a long time, in New york City in Christmas - I can't imagine how else Wonderland could be.
With a very heavy heart, I boarded my flight out of the Big Apple, which actually was made easier because of New York official hours. Leaving otherwise would have been a much harder ordeal. The only good thing was I was heading back home, to my parents. It was my turn to be pampered for the next few days. Cousins made the nights fun and mom and dad made the days wonderful! There were discussions about the elder monkey's recent surprise 'adventures', which actually might have have surprised us more than the intended recipient; a beautiful lady now stuck with the elder one, who, I am happy to say, has gone much farther in evolving into a perfect gentleman. I am back in London now, bound by the human restraints of career and society but still thinking of the Wonderland and how to beat it in April! Although I consider myself an awesome trip planner, some consider me a loser/double loser in such matters (due to one accidental mishap in a strange land, where I still managed to save the day but my efforts were not appreciated by the other 2 negligent souls!!). Hence, ladies and gentlemen, wish me luck on my endeavor.
Adios!

Achiever's Workshop

2008-11-30T11:29:00.000-08:00

Breaking records gives you a certain kind of kick, doesn't it? Specially if you know you were the previous record holder as well. I have always been fond of over-achieving and this one deserves a note, even if I am currently buried in work and 1.5 rotations and weekend international trips...I went to sleep at a decent hour last night(3am is decent, ask anyone who has been to college) and woke up at 4pm today, straight!
The Joker says, "If you are good at something, never do it for free!". I wish someone would pay me to sleep. Then, wouldn't you guys feel great to say "My millionaire Monkey Man Mastram!" ;)

Straight From the Horse's Mouth...Almost!

2008-11-13T13:22:00.000-08:00

Today I chanced upon something very disturbing on the net. Apparently, there was a survey conducted in Germany and millions of people were asked - "People of which profession would you NOT want to have as your friends?", and one in every four answered - Investment Bankers! That's a very high number because there were only 2 other professions that fared worse than the suited-booted-sophisticated and supposed-to-be-very-smart bankers; they were Criminals and Prostitutes!
So, ladies and gentlemen, Investment Bankers share the podium with Criminals and Prostitutes for being the most notorious and hated professionals in the world. Now, being an Investment Banker myself, I find this highly appalling and am forced to ask - What the frick is wrong with Prostitution? ;)

Diwali Extravaganza

2008-11-02T05:03:00.000-08:00

This year, Diwali was very special - and for 2 reasons. First, I celebrated it on 2 different days, none of which actually coincided with the actual Diwali date and second, it was the coldest and wettest Diwali ever!

Diwali Day 1 - 26th October - Swaninarayan Temple, Neasden
Since we have been away from India, Diwali was the first Indian festival that came our way. Hence, even on an office day, after having stared at computer screens for 12-ish hours, most of us still had the enthusiasm to visit this temple outside London where there was supposed to be fireworks and free food. Sadly, it was raining cats and dogs in Central London when we were leaving. But we were too intelligent to heed God's signs, naturally, and assumed that it would not be raining so heavily outside the city. Hence the trip was on. Whoever thought optimism is a good thing is in for a shock! The whole journey itself was a perfect example of JIT management. I left with a couple of my juniors, who found it very pertinent to change clothes, dress up and then wait for a third pal, who had just left office when we were about to leave their place. I would have gone on alone but a minimum level of decency on the auspicious occasion forced me to wait for their buddy as well. Once he arrived, I took over the role of an Army Commander, forcing everyone to hurry towards the tube but ofcourse, my minions had to pick up their samosas on their way as well! When we reached the tube station, the late-arriver-buddy got a phone call from another friend of ours to wait for her. Now, I decided that I would go on, no matter who stayed behind. Guess some of them had similar ideas and hence, the late-arriver-buddy was finally left alone to wait for his friend. The tube reached one of the stations and informed us that due to some trouble, the tube would not go any further and we would have to take the overground train form the other side of the platform. It was already getting late, with only 15 minutes left to the fireworks and we did not know the road from the station to the temple as well. Hence, when we saw that the overground train was already standing on the other platform and huffing and puffing, we bolted for the train - up the flight of stairs, over to the other side of the station, and a DDLJ type through the closing doors.
10 minutes later, we got off the train to see a completely different picture. It was snowing - yes, snowing. The first snow London had seen this season and one as soon as in October after many many years. It was frikkin' cold. And we had no clue where we were supposed to go! The last bit was taken care of by the London transport authorities. Apparently, due to the huge crowd at the temple, they had put up signs for the buses, which way to NOT go. We, like mavericks, and unlike buses, just went that way! And lo-and-behold, after a brisk 10 minute walk, we were at the temple. Although I was disappointed to see that my friends who had left the office after me had got to the place before me. I blamed the tiny trots for that, and at the first chance I got, I dumped them to join my friends. Now, the snow had intensified even further. We looked like bulls, everyone exhaling clouds of smoke into the air. The fireworks was amazing, but the intense cold had cut off all sensation in the hands that were holding the umbrella up, thus increasing the pain to a level when we decided to chuck the fireworks and head home (or some place warm). There were buses lined up to take us to the tube station but there were millions of people waiting for those doors to open as well. Even holding an umbrella up was so tough that i decided to put both my hands in my coat pockets, even if it meant getting a little snow on my coat/head. Soon, my parasitic side came out and I found myself hogging other people's umbrella covers. That was good until the first bus doors opened and the mayhem forced quite a few to take the road. We were among those. My face was white and pink, nose had started running (which I could not feel) and hands and ears had started to pain. There were a couple of phone calls to/from a cute little bubble but my fingers had trouble to slide the iPhone on! Yes, it was a rough rough time but soon we were back in the warmth of London tube, and then in our cozy home. The tap water, which every morning gives me an electric shock seemed pleasant and warm on my hands. After a lot of rubbing and heating the hands on the cooker, finally some color and feeling came back into them and then, I just turned the apartment heat to 30 degrees, got under my covers and slept off a really really tiring, cold but very memorable Diwali night!

Part II to follow after the movie Golmaal Returns! :)

2008-10-15T11:14:00.000-07:00

O my loyal subjects (read regular visitors!)... please wait some more! As thou knoweth, I was not made for work, or anything for that matter, apart from sleeping! Hopefully, this weekend shalt produce something that is not random nonsense, something which can be put in words and shared with thee! :) Keep the hope alive while I battle every-week-day, longing to return to my dreamland!

P.S. If the above few lines don't make any sense then get the hint that I am losing it! Yes, work has that kind of effect on monkeys!

...

2008-09-27T04:21:00.000-07:00

I am that was, I am that is and I am that will be. I can be both good and bad but at a particular time, I am only one of those. So it really depends on when you catch me. You might bump into me when I am nice and happy but you might be busy with other things then and you might not appreciate what I do for you. Ofcourse when I get rough, and you are all alone, since I am the only one by your side, you blame me for everything that has gone wrong. But I have been there before. I am everywhere, have always been. And so it doesn't come as a surprise to me when you go gallivanting with your friends once I turn back to being good. I can't help it, I have phases. What is regrettable is that when I am good, I am alone because you have more important things to do but you don't take a break from life to sit with me. And when I am bad, I am given the responsibility of getting you out of your misery. But I always manage to do that. That is what I am best at. I can heal any injury, I can make people forget things they don't want to remember. I carry a big bag on my back, you call it 'the past'. I put all the worlds' troubles in it and carry it on my shoulders. There are some of you who want to live in it as well, but I always succeed in pulling you out of it. I only carry junk in that bag, memories you'd rather forget. And once I'm sure of its classification, I never let them escape from my bag and influence your life again. It is a very tricky job, because there are these tiny fluttering 'happy' memories as well. I take really good care of those. I keep them in my left hand while I hold your hand with my right. This way, the things that give you strength are never far from you. All you need to remember is that those
moments are not getting left behind as you walk on and will stay with you forever. Once you can sieve out the memories you want to remember and the ones you don't, I will ensure that you are surrounded by nothing but the 'good old times'.
I have seen people not make much of these beautiful moments when I am walking alongside them. Either they keep thinking about things which I have already kept in my bag or they keep worrying about what's going to happen in 'the future'. Little do they know that it is as they walk with me that I keep clearing the path in front of them and it is where they walk with me today that will determine where they end up tomorrow.
Why do you worry about something that hasn't even arrived yet? You are looking for me, I know, but I will reach there with you. I am not there already. I approach it in little steps myself, everyday. Hence I would appreciate it if you started to live a little more with me, when I am beside you. You need me beside you to make beautiul memories, to look for happiness, to love your near and dear ones..... to do anything productive. You cannot do anything with what's in my bag, I won't let you go there. You can't do anything where I myself haven't been yet. You can't change the things I have in my hand, but you can definitely make more of those. And there is only NOW that you can do it. You need to realize that the power to reach where you finally want to go, is in your hands. It's you who has to show me where you want to go, I only take you there. My job is not to decide on the path you take but to make you walk on it once you have decided. I have all that you will ever need to achieve your dreams. Let me keep safely the beautiful moments in your life and the ugly ones away from you forever. We have a long way to go, and remember that I will always be there, by your side. So, hold my hand and let us make new beautiful memories, which will be your strength and happiness forever.

VS meets V & S

2008-09-06T16:15:00.000-07:00

This is the first time I have left India, not knowing when I will go back to my country. I miss India! :( ...And I would have felt much worse about leaving my home, had it not been for V and S, who have made me feel as a part of their own family! Last year, during internship, I used to call my parents almost everyday but now, I end up calling once every 3-4 days. My mum asked me if I miss home or not. I told her that I do, just as much as I did last year, but this time, I feel as if I am not far from them. Kudos to V and S for achieving this extraordinary feat :)!
Let me tell you a few things about S (.. for me, it's always ladies first!). She is married and is in the middle of joining her firm at a very high position or starting her own organization, but if you meet her for the first time, you will think she is a teenager! She looks 19 as well, by the way :). She loves watching movies all day long. She is totally crazy about Bollywood, hence this instant connection with me ;-)! She loves food, especially the ones cooked by famous chefs and has dragged her poor veggie husband into places where he has been forced to eat spaghetti as the main course and then, I guess, pay a pretty hefty amount for it as well :-). Fond of trying new cuisines and dishes... never has she been mired by the "veggie husband" barrier! She makes the most killer samosas, the loveliest chhole and the most awesome rajma-bhindi! That reminds me, she keeps even the little promises that she makes (even if they are made on a blog's comments page!). She is really funny and thankfully, we have another little person who bears the brunt of most of her jokes, which is mostly not the case in other groups when I am around! ... And she takes really good care of me, always asking me if I want to eat something or giving me suggestions on how to spend the weekends, listening to my bakwaas all the time... she is like the elder sister I never had!
Then there's V. V and S compliment each other perfectly. V is like this smart and sopisticated person who is always ready with a witty remark for any comment/joke directed at him. Still, he is always ready to skip watching Formula One, something which he loves, and be with S where she wants them to be. Awww...so cute! He has helped me so much regarding apartment hunting, regarding work, desks and the stuff. You should see S and V together sometime. V might be busy doing something in a very neat and systematic way and S might be wondering all the time, what V is upto? He reminds me of my elder brother, who is also quite far geographically, but very close to my heart.
I have only known them since a couple of days, but I already feel as if I have a little family here, my home away from home!
..and then of course, there is M. The "intelligent" one, the tiny warrior, the little princess, the scrappy doo of our lot, the Calvin amidst us, the tweety among us cartoons, the little soap bubble, the kitten lover...the bestest buddy one could have asked for...the one who deserves a new post! Meeow! :-D

An Ode to a Hero

2008-08-27T15:51:00.000-07:00

...maybe I don't say it enough bro, but tussi great ho! :) Cheers!

Colors!

2008-08-21T18:59:00.001-07:00

First of all, let me clarify that although I have learnt to spell "Colours" with a 'u', I just thought right now that Colors looks more symmetric and beautiful, hence the name of the post! Moving on...I have this important exam tomorrow, which incidentally also marks the culmination of my training! Yippiee! Yet, even though I am buried under a thousand slides on Range Accruals, Digital Options, Reverse Floaters and what not, here I am writing this post because I know that I will not be able to get back to my studies until I have penned this idea down! It all started when I thought about colors while I was reading (actually flipping incessantly) the slides on Quanto Swaps. Don't ask me how this thought came into my head but there I was, sitting on my couch and thinking what colors I liked and what I didn't. Then, I imagined a woman in saree. I guess I should not say woman, because then it feels like I imagined a middle-aged woman (duh!), I actually imagined a slim and trim girl, say in her early twenties, in a saree and I started thinking what color would suit her. .. Conscience attack.. back to slides!
1 minute later
Wow! Just when I am trying to get my mind off colors, I have to read the slides on Rainbow Options!!! Aargh!
15 minutes later
I am sick of swaps already! Seems like straight lines are entering from one year and wiggly lines are leaving from the other (that's the classic way to show swaps!). Anyway, I was talking about how I thought of sarees. I love sarees and I also feel that a girl can look much more beautiful and hot in a saree than in any top and jeans. Then I reflected a little on what comes to my mind when I see a girl in a saree of a particular color. Then I thought, why limit myself to just sarees and girls, let me devise a game for myself where I will also jot down the first thing that comes to my mind when I think of any color. Before reading further, I urge you to kindly take a pencil/pen and write down the first thing that comes to your mind when you hear of these colors and also what you would think if you saw someone of the opposite sex in clothes of the the following color and then maybe we could compare and contrast! ;) While you go look for a pencil/pen, let me read a few more slides! :)
10 minutes later
Here goes...
BLACK:
What do I think when I see a girl in such a saree: Beautiful, Gorgeous!
First thing that came to my mind: Manhole!!(atleast it proves that it WAS the first thing and that I didn't cheat!)
WHITE:
What do I think when I see a girl in such a saree: Princess, Angelic!
First thing that comes to my mind: Surf (Hmmm.. something wrong with my head. I blame it squarely on the exotic options! Let me try again...)
Second thing that comes to my mind : Clouds (Aha! Much better! Although this did come from a comparision of keds shoes with clouds elsewhere, but who cares!)
RED:
What do I think when I see a girl in such a saree: Simply...Hot!
First thing that comes to my mind: Mirchi (Not the powder but the long slender ones. Might have some connection with the earlier thought of a hot girl in a red saree!)
BLUE:
What do I think when I see a girl in such a saree: Calm, Composed!
First thing that comes to my mind: Sky (Nature freak??)
GREEN:
What do I think when I see a girl in such a saree: Euwwww!
First thing that comes to my mind: Algea!! (Not good, must give another shot!)
Second thing that comes to my mind: Frog! (Crap! There are leaves and trees all around! That proves it! Sorry Mother Nature, but I am sure I don't like the color green!)
PURPLE:
What do I think when I see a girl in such a saree: Exotic, Daring! :)
First thing that comes to my mind: a Flower (this one has significance :))
Okay, what other colors are left? Ahh, I can see Orange in front of me..
ORANGE:
What do I think when I see a girl in such a saree: Homely :)
First thing that comes to my mind: Orange table cloth (How do you think I thought of Orange in the first place? :P)
As usual, the second thing that comes to my mind: The Orange part in the Indian Flag! (Well well, I don't know why I have been so unfair to the white or green part in it, but hey, I am really playing lightning rounds here!) :)
I guess this is enough for now. Although this post is far from over, I should rather ensure that I pass the test tomorrow than spend more time on this. If you enjoy reading this, do let me know your results and pray that I pass my test with flying colors! :)

Words

2008-08-08T19:08:00.000-07:00

The wheel, fire, tools... these are considered to be man's greatest inventions but I have always felt that this honour should go to words. What would man be without words, unable to convey his thoughts, his feelings, his ideas! The society that we live in today, the development in technology, the advances in science, is not attributable to one mind but small steps taken in the right direction by millions of minds who have been perplexed by the mysteries of life. Many have stumbled, many fell and never got up again... and some pushed the frontiers of human knowledge a little further. Very few were the lucky ones who walked into the tunnel others had dug and removed the final stone to see the light! I do not intend to undermine the achievements and hard work of the genius amongst us, but today I do feel that man still has a long way to go to even come close to Mother Nature or God, whoever it was who created us. We are still looking for an energy source that will last generations but all of us come with a built-in mechanism to generate energy from almost anything, without polluting the environment. We study Electrical and Electronics Engineering but are still far from understanding the electrical network that transmits pulses at the speed of light inside our bodies. We still marvel at the invention of high speed processors but cannot fathom the capacity of our brain, which converts innumerable electrical signals into feelings which make this life worth living. I believe that there could be a day when man will have understood the complexities in the creations of Nature, he will have have created machines that perform faster and better than what Nature sent us into this Earth with, but he will always lag behind Nature as long as we compare the greatest inventions of both: words and feelings!
There are perhaps a few million words at the disposal of man, some day there might be billions, but it will still be insufficient to enable him to express each and every thought of his. As long as simply living is considered, the present arsenal of words and languages is enough for man to survive, but life is not in the generalities, it is in the sublime! Who remembers what clothes he wore to office every day or the names of his clients when he is 80? What he does remember is his first childhood memory, the time when his brother aced some examination, the time his results were declared and he found that he had topped the school, the time he proposed to a girl for the first time, uncertainty in his eyes, maybe by the side of a road, the time he returned one day sooner to surprise someone special, some birthdays... his marriage, the day his child is born, the day it starts to walk or talk... these are memories that are engraved in one's minds. And at every such moment, man feels so many things, but all he can say is "wow", or "amazing" or the easiest way out being "I don't have words!" It's true, in all the memories that I have, which I know will remain forever, I remember exactly how I felt but I cannot put them into words. I don't want to, because I think that they are too special to be forced into words that do not do justice to them. It is like taking an exquisite painting and cutting it from all sides in order to fit it into a frame that you have already! Words diminish those feelings and I would rather relive those moments in utter silence than try to remember them by putting them down in a diary. Perhaps that is why I don't take too many snaps. I believe that the beautiful pictures are already etched in our minds and no picture can take you back there but if you do want to go back, all you need to do is to close your eyes and let the processor in your head do the work! In all my memorable moments, I have found words to be inadequate, but the brain has sent unclouded impulses to the heart! Perhaps that is the reason why, even in moments of happiness, you sometimes start crying and just embrace the person who has given you a very pleasant surprise and not say a word... you sometimes can't believe your own achievement and start nibbling away at your finger nails thinking that there must have been a mistake but not say a word... you are not sure whether to kiss or hug or smile when she replies that she "...likes-you-likes-you as well!" but you are sure that you can't put what you are feeling in words! Hence it is not always easy to say what you feel, sometimes you just can't, sometimes you don't want to because what you feel is too gorgeous for words... at such moments, you can only hope that the important people in your life are able to hear your silence and decipher it to find the world of fond thoughts and wishes that have been preserved for them. Unfortunately, the human mind's endowment is a double edged sword. Even moments of weakness or pain far exceed misery that words can convey. However, to end on a happy note, always remember that "...hope is a good thing, perhaps the best of things and a good thing never dies!" and as for me, as long as life is willing to offer me memories and adventures at both ends of the spectrum, I am game!

Home...

2008-08-03T12:34:00.000-07:00

While heading out for lunch, I saw a manhole cover which read "N.Y.C. Sewer - Made in India" and I also killed a mosquito today. Weird things to remind you how much you miss and love your country :)

Rain On :)

2008-08-02T09:10:00.000-07:00

A bright and sunny day in New York (NY 0800 hrs)

...the clouds start to move in (NY 0900 hrs)

...soon, the sky is overcast (NY 1000 hrs)

...and it starts to rain (NY 1030 hrs)

...or, should I say, pour (NY 1100 hrs)

...the rain subsides (NY 1120 hrs)

...only to return with greater vigor (NY 1140 hrs)

...finally it stops and the sun takes a peek (NY 1220 hrs)

...feeling it safe to come out, the sky clears up (NY 1230 hrs)

...and it's a bright blue day once again! (NY 1245 hrs)

This post is dedicated to the person who introduced me to the beauty in pictures and rain...to the King!

Being a Super Hero

2008-07-30T19:42:00.001-07:00

Everyone has his favorite, be it Batman, Superman or Spider Man (or maybe even Monkey Man!). Little children are amazed by their strength! They wonder how they can lift mountains or are simply amazed by the gadgets on their utility belt or wish if they could swing from building to building (or tree to tree :D). When they grow up a little, they start to understand what is right and wrong, and the the reason behind the fights, but they still don't realize what the heroes go through. In my opinion, being a super hero is one of the toughest roles one can play in life, no matter how many super powers you might have.
I have always been a child as far as super heroes go. I love each and every one of them and even when I am 24, I still follow shows like Smallville, Justice League and Avatar! Take Clarke Kent for example, a teenager who grows up in a small town, Smallville. Before he knew that he had super powers and that he was from the planet Krypton, he knew that he loved Lana Lang. He does not tell her about his true identity because he is afraid that she might not accept him, which I consider stupid. If you really love someone, you should be honest and have faith that the person will understand you and love you for what you are. Of course, loving someone does not guarantee love in return, but I don't see any reason to keep the fact that you love someone from the concerned person. As they say in Friends, "...it is always nice to know that someone loves you!". But every one needs someone to assure him of this and if you can't tell anyone your problem, if you don't even have someone to share your thoughts with, it kills you even more. That's why I am very happy whenever any super hero finds someone who knows his true identity. Wasn't it wonderful when MJ found out about Peter's secret and let him know that she would be there for him, forever. But it couldn't last, because as Peter's uncle Ben had said, "With great power comes great responsibility!". Lana Lang dies when Clarke tells her about himself, trying to protect his secret, and Clarke has to change the past to keep her alive but he loses his father in doing so. Batman cannot be with Rachel, because Rachel knows that Gotham needs him more than she does. So does MJ, and so does Lana. They can see that the world needs its super heroes, but are unable to see what they need. The Green Arrow loves Louis but has to go away to fight for justice but Louis never finds out why he left her and Oliver has to face her hatred, even though he knows that he loves her and so does she! In Batman's latest movie, we see how Batman has to decide if he should continue his fight or not, whether Gotham needs him, deserves him or not? In Spider Man's last movie, we see Spider Man alone with his thoughts on the top of a sky scraper, with no one to talk to. Even he gives up being a super hero in the second movie. Today, I know that being a super hero is not only about punching bad guys and saving people; it's also about saving others when they don't even realize it, facing the uncertainty and doubts within oneself alone and being utterly selfless. Yet, any person who sacrifices his needs and desires for the well being of those around him, is a super hero for me and deserves love, respect, appreciation and a little understanding! You might be wondering why I am rambling on about the love stories of super heroes. It's because Avatar has ended, with Ang and Kitara together! I used to not like Kitara, but in the last episode, she kisses Ang and I was elated because it was the beginning of a love story, I knew, that would last.

Dreams

2008-07-30T19:02:00.000-07:00

It's the best place to be. Everything is possible. I am flying! There's my happy place, the same garden, with lots of trees in odd shapes covered with yellow and orange leaves, the sun shining bright above me, cool breeze rustling the fallen leaves while I lie on a thick carpet of lush green grass, with friends, family and loved ones around me. The river is as blue as is the sky. Life is good, with no worries and only beauty all around me! But why should this be restricted to my dreams? Beauty is everywhere, all I need is to look for it and I will find it. Or is it a dream?

I ♥ NY

2008-07-14T13:47:00.000-07:00

That's New York, the Big Apple, the financial center of the world, home to some of the biggest organizations... the city of life! I admit that this is my second visit to this beautiful city, but the first time I was around, I was very busy, had a lot of other things on my mind and could not appreciate what this city had to offer, but the last 3 days, with nothing to do, I have been really living it up :). I was greeted into this city by the lovely bright sun, with its dazzling rays lighting up every corner of the city, as if effusing life in the alleys, the roads, the buildings, the people... everything! A taxi ride with open windows, the cool breeze hitting me at 100 kmph, tall buildings rising beside me, as if trying to touch the sky... by the time I reached my apartment, I was brimming with happy feelings, knowing that life is good, and everything will be great! My apartment also turned out to be really beautiful, up on the 30th floor, with huge windows (read lots of sunlight) and a clear view of the Empire State Building (I don't have nice memories about ESB and am still of the opinion that Rockefeller Plaze kicks ESB's ass!). Due to the up-market locality, the only problem I face is the lack of simple run-of-the-mill grocery stores. The absence of plain salt is still haunting me, due to which all my culinary expertise has been put on hold sine die. The first 2 days, I roamed around the wide and beautiful criss-cross of streets and avenues, window shopping and catching up with old friends. Also was overjoyed to receive my first salary, and to hear my dad request earnestly to not worry about money anymore and enjoy life ;). I and UD went out to Little India, hoping to catch up with everyone else, but finally ended up walking from 23rd street till 48th street by ourselves. The next day we found out that everyone had a different meeting point in mind and had been roaming around New York city looking for others somewhere else, altogether. Next day, we made a more detailed plan, specifying the exact meeting point, down to the table, in front of which restaurant, and at the crossing of which 2 streets! This amount of hard work resulted in me and UD (again the first ones to arrive... yes, we are always lukhkha) being joined by Shetty and Katy. Ecstasy!! We went on to have lots of $1 beer in Greenwich village and nice Italian food. My awesome jet lag is also helping me wake up at 5am, on my own, with ample time to get ready for my training, which is also turning out to be more fun than anticipated and quite different from what was expected (will write next about this charity day camp at Staten Island, part of DB Orientation). Since I've arrived, I have been sipping the love this city has to offer and am still thirsty for more. Yet, the next few days will be even more amazing because New York City is going to be blessed by something much more beautiful than itself, or any other thing in this whole world!

My First Day as a Permanent Employee :)

2008-07-14T09:32:00.000-07:00

Today began with me waking up at 5 in the morning, shockingly, on my own. For this great feat, I will have to thank the concept of time difference :), but I definitely wasn't happy to see the Rain Gods back in business. When I do get the time to write about NY, you will notice that it had been really sunny and warm the past few days, a combination that always lifts me up! Still, once out of bed, I had a leisurely bath, the importance of which I have understood only after my recent struggle with body odor (read CCU to JFK... Could Have Been Better), filled myself up with corn flakes and milk, and headed out to work. Since I had enough time to reach the office, I experimented with the NY subway, trying to figure out the shortest route to office. I did manage to do that, thanks to my decent spatial intelligence, but realized only after having deciphered the red, blue and green maze that is NY subway, that I have to go to a different place from tomorrow. For this, I would like to thank my not-so-decent logical intelligence! Anyway, once I reached the office, it was great to see that they were serving breakfast. There were cream croissants (like in Europe), coke et al (like in US ;)), muffins (like any other place) and lots more. It was ironic that I was full from my own breakfast, but I made a solemn promise to myself that I would make up for it in lunch time! Had to indulge in 'PC', IIMB lingo for "polite conversation", which is laughing at others' jokes even when you don't get them, and asking questions or discussing things that will never ever affect any of us! For example, when I asked a Chinese guy if he had a family in China!! How was it of any use, I am still perplexed. Had he been a girl, and a hot one at that, then it would have made a lot of sense, I agree ;) hehe. Anyway, once the paperwork was over, we were told that we were free to scoot, which we did happily :D. Thank God for small mercies! Another half cooked plan for the evening was conjured, and we left for our homes, spread out across Manhattan like radars in a war zone!
Having missed out on an excellent opportunity of devouring free and yummy food, I decided to cook something myself. When I took out the potatoes and tomatoes from the refrigerator, I realized that that particular shelf was a deep freezer and now my tomatoes were sounding like stone, and bouncing off the floor if dropped! And of course, the pinch of salt was still elusive. Hence I came up with my latest masterpiece: a lunch of strawberries and carrots! Talk about healthy food! They have been under running water since the last 15 minutes, to get rid of the ice around them, in them... hehehe.. and my letter 'g' is also bugging me a lot, since it has merrily stopped working since last week. Hence, I think now its time for me to have my healthy yummy food, while you read this and comment on it :)!

Ghar ka Khana...

2008-07-13T19:09:00.000-07:00

Today, in the evening, I had plans to go out and watch Wall-E or Kung Foo Panda. Unfortunately, I landed in a grocery store and ended up buying stuff worth $40! (which is a lot). Atleast I got a lot of exercise by lifting the 3 kilo bags (yes, there were 2) across 5 blocks. Having worked so hard, tonight, I had to eat at home... and so I decided to stick with the simplest menu... scrambled eggs with bread.. Yummy! ... the only problem was that, in the $40 worth of shopping, I had forgotten to pick up $2 worth of salt. I wondered, how much difference can a pinch of salt make?... Turns out, a lot!!! :D

P.S.: If I have to keep writing, what do you expect?? ;)

Next up...

2008-07-13T09:04:00.000-07:00

...heading out for lunch, but when I come back, it's time for NY, the Big Apple, to make an appearance on my blog!

CCU to JFK... could have been better!

2008-07-13T05:05:00.000-07:00

It feels good to be on ground, and I don't mean it in some metaphorical way; I mean it literally and you will believe me if you have been flying for 22 hours straight, with a small break of 2 hours in the middle, i think, only to remind you that you are a human and not some alien scanning the Earth and looking for the perfect spot to attack! But frankly, Lufthansa did not impress me much.
At the Kolkata airport, the lady at the check-in counter started quizzing me as if she was an Immigration Officer... "Business or pleasure? Where will you stay? For how long?" First I thought she was just trying to be friendly, but when she asked me to show her my offer document, I thought it was very strange and beyond normal levels of inquiry at a check-in counter. Still, I was glad that my luggage was within the weight limit and hence, did not care for the FBI level investigation.
The air hostesses were cold and definitely not beautiful. Some of them looked like men, with their strong German jaws and 6 feet plus body sizes! And they had their hair done in piggy tails, which reminded me of the "always ready to fight" women of Gaul. The situation was exacerbated further in the second leg of the flight when a fat German kid had happily taken my window seat and, I guess, was looking forward to enjoying the view. However, I pointed out to him very blatantly that that was not going to happen ( I practice being aggressive everywhere nowadays ;)). Then began our cold war... the 'elbow pushing' in the common hand-rest, the deliberate 'waking the other person to go to toilet every half an hour' (that was me!)... and the rest. However, I could find no response to his master weapon, his body odor! Yuck! I had moved so away from him, the pilot could easily have mistaken me to be sitting outside the plane! Yet, I would not budge from my seat and finally tasted success when the kid moved to some other seat. Yes, he got a window seat elsewhere but this should not take anything away from my victory! Anyway, without any more incidents, the flight was finally over I was overjoyed to feel the bright sun, once again, shine on me!

Me, Myself & Cricket

2008-05-17T21:24:00.000-07:00

Those who have been around me for some time now know very well about this deviation of mine from the average and rather common inclination to love this game amongst the nearly one billion Indians, but for those who are not aware, let me play a scene that has been very common in my life...
X: (to me) Yaar, do you know the score?
Me: Of what?
X: (surprised) Of the cricket match dude!!
Me: (inquisitively) who is playing?
X: (shocked) India and someone yaar! Don't you watch cricket?
Me: Nah, I don't like it!
X unbelievingly walks away!
Now, let me try to explain my reasons for not liking the game!
I think it is the most unfair game there can ever be and this stems primarily from the fact that at any point in time, different teams are doing different things. One is batting while the other is bowling and fielding. In games that I like, there is a sense in having both teams do the same thing at any point in time. Like in football, both the teams are running after the ball at any second; in tennis, both the players are hitting the ball... in these games, it's not like one is hitting balls at the wall while other is dancing, is it? If I try to find another game like cricket in this regard, the only game that comes to my mind is baseball, which is really just another form of cricket to me. However, since I don't know much about baseball, I will limit my thoughts to cricket only.
I can't think of any other game where the toss can change the game so drastically! Generally, the toss decides who will serve first, or which side will one choose, but even that changes after half-time or something like that. There is an attempt to nullify the effects of the toss. It's not like the person who wins the toss in tennis will ONLY serve if he chooses to, or the team who wins the toss in football will not change sides after half-time. I remember, in waterpolo, when I used to take a decision after having won a toss, I would think of where east and west was, because I did not want my guys to be staring into a setting sun while playing. But I know that it was only our magnificient Kharagpur that had an East-West facing waterpolo pool. Our coach used to say that nowhere in the world is waterpolo played in an outdoor pool, let alone an east-west facing one! The point is that winning should be dependant more on calibre and less on lady luck. In cricket, with a toss, a team can decide to bowl on a dew covered pitch which will not be there when the other team comes out to bat; a team can choose to have the other team field under the floodlights, while it fields under the sun! With a toss, sometimes, a Captain can have the match in his bag even before the first balls are bowled!
Even the Rain Gods can change the course of a match in a way unimaginable in any other game. My decision to put my thoughts regarding cricket into this blog came after such an incident yesterday. Delhi Daredevils were on a blazing start, scoring at close to 11 runs an over with 9 wickets in hand till the end of 8 overs in a crucial Twenty20 match between Delhi Daredevils and Punjab Kings XI, when the downpour started. After half an hour of rain and a lot of complicated mathematics, they were told that they now had only 3 more overs to post their final score. So, the Delhi team, which had thought that it had to conserve its wickets for 20 overs suddenly found itself with a lot of wickets to spare but too few overs left to throw the bat around, like one does towards the end of a Twenty20 match. And then it was the turn of Punjab King's XI to bat, knowing the total and also knowing very well that the bowlers of Delhi Daredevils had only 11 overs to bowl them out. Punjab Kings XI had to preserve their wickets only for 11 overs and they could really afford to throw their bats at everything right from the start. After around 7 overs, Rameez Raja was bent on comparing the scores of the 2 teams and made no qualms about announcing that Punjab Kings XI was way ahead of Delhi Daredevils. I say, how can you even compare the two scores? Delhi Daredevils' batsmen were playing thinking they had another 13 overs to go, Punjab Kings XI batsmen knew they had only some 3-4 overs left to bat. I am definitely not saying that Delhi Daredevil would have been in a better position if they knew from the very beginning that it was an 11 over match. I am only saying that I found the idea of comparing scores at any instant and declaring which team is "way ahead", absolutely meaningless. Little did I know that this absurdity would be taken to a completely different level soon! Initially, the match was still worth watching because Delhi Daredevils had posted a decent total, even for an 11 over match but then the worst happened. Rain came down once again and it washed away all hopes for Delhi Daredevils as the match was won by Punjab Kings XI based on the Duckworth Lewis system!
When the rain came down for the second time, it was the Punjab Kings XI batsmen who were the first ones to leave the ground because they knew that they had won the match if play were to stop. Even the commentators were of the opinion that the game could have continued, depending on the situation. 3 overs was all that remained between a respectful, albeit a slightly unfair end to the match and a totally pointless, disgraceful end. I was feeling sorry for the groundsmen who were not willing to bring on the covers when the umpires signalled, hoping that the umpires might just decide to continue with the game, even in that slight drizzle. The Delhi Daredevils team never left the field, ready to deliver the last few deliveries as soon as possible. The spectators who had come to see a match where they would atleast see the winning runs being scored or the last wicket being taken or the last ball being bowled, were left staring at a decision based on the Duckworth Lewis system, flashing on the screen.
Any game, I believe should be a test of the talent and not luck. Cricket, to me, is a game of some talent (no doubt) but also of fortune and externalities. The wind will always either help batsmen and impede bowlers or the other way round. Rain will always be beneficial to one team and unwelcomed by the other. Pitch conditions, atmospheric temperature, light... everything always affects the two teams differently. Then, is the result of the match truly a measure of the team's skills? In my opinion, any game should always try to minimize the effect of externalities and limit the influence it has on the result. A game of my choice should be a little less vulnerable to weather conditions. And a game which I can admire should always end on the field and never, oh never, off it, based on some mathematics that no one understands, which could put the Black Scholes equation to shame;the one they call the Duckworth Lewis System!

Countdown to Me!

2008-04-18T11:14:00.000-07:00

Here’s a chance to know me better…

10 things I want to do before I die!

Ride a really really fast roller coaster

Own a Ferrari (a scarlet one at that)

Drive a Formula One car

Travel to so many places... read further for more on this!

Gift my parents a World Tour thingy ;-)

Learn a foreign language, and I mean learn and not bunk classes and still get a certificate (thank you Alliance Francaise)

Own a house in a meadow, close to a river with snow-capped mountains visible from the bedroom

Bungee jumping
Sky diving
Fly

9 places I would love to see!

Egypt - Pyramids, Sphynx

China - Great Wall, Forbidden City

Moscow - Red Square

Rajasthan - I've heard the Lake Palace in Udaipur is awesome! ;-)

California - Hollywood
Agra - Taj Mahal
Brazil – Christ, the Redeemer
Australia – Sydney Opera House, Sydney Harbor Bridge
Scotland – Loch Ness

8 things I am good at (and I don't mean career skills! :))
Cracking PJs
Being optimistic
Driving
Smiling

Acting dumb :-P

Jumping around and breaking stuff

Swimming

Cooking (I hope :-))

7 things which attract me to a girl :))
Long hair
Cute face
Self reliance
Intelligence
Happy-go-lucky nature
Slim body
A "never say die" attitude

6 things I just can't do!

Iron clothes

Be serious

Put a night-out

Fly (...not yet!)

Say "No" to a request

Plan things well in advance

5 of my favorite lyrics
"roke tujhko aandhiyan, ya zameen aur aasman...paayega jo lakshya hai tera" from the movie Lakshya
"Zindahi ki yahi reet hai...haar ke baad hi jeet hai, thode aansoo hain, thodi hansi...aaj ghum hai to kal hai khushi" from the movie Mr. India
I don't wanna miss a thing - Aerosmith
Nothing's gonna change my love for you - Glen Medeiros
Where is the love - Black Eyed Peas

4 things I say the most!
Waa….aaahhh
Sahi
Mujhe kya pata/Pata nahin
Dumass

3 things that pick me up
Sunlight - and mountains, cliffs, trees: for Mother Nature
Adventure
Challenges

2 most memorable trips
Eurotrip during exchange, Goa – something special!

1 person I dedicate this blog to
the King!!

Monkey Shines

2008-04-15T08:01:00.000-07:00

How many times have you heard the phrase "Stop this monkey business!" and immediately stopped whatever naughty thing you were upto? Have you ever thought how such association of mischeavous behavior with the term "monkey bunsiness" can be degrading to us monkeys? Today, let me give you an insight into what monkey business is all about and then you might realize that it is not easy to be a monkey!

We monkeys have only a few syllables that constitute our entire language. They are hu,hoo; he, hee; ku koo and khe khee. Now imagine speaking to each other with just a combinations of these 8 syllables. No wonder half our days are spent trying to say what you humans can do in 1 minute. For certain sentences, by the time we reach the 20th syllable, we have lost track of the first ten. Oh, so you want us to improve our language! Why should we? It's not that we are running out of time or we will achieve something great by finishing all our chores by mid-day. What are our chores? Oh, I'm sorry, I should have started with that. We monkeys have only one ritual, hukukuhekhee, which you guys know as social grooming (I wonder, who translates monkey's into your language for you guys?). The good thing about it is that it runs 24X7, 365 days a year. Through it, we find out who is putting which tree's lotion in their ears, whose skin is the darkest, who has the highest hair density on her back or who attracts the most exotic of the bugs around. Afterall, we do not have Matrimonials on Sundays and this is how word about the most eligible bachelor and the most wanted damsel spreads in our community.

We are happy with the way things are going for us, although it seems you humans are not so happy. God gave you humans the sharpest brains (although only a little more than ours, thank you!) and colored vision, which you used to create buildings, work culture and invent so many things. God was not totally ufair; he gave us something that you guys don't have - a tail. When we see you watching television, we look at our tails. When we see you wearing all the nice clothes, we look at our tails. You can have your buildings, your games, your cars... we have our tails! Recently, a fellow monkey in our community was awarded the King Kong Prize for inventing yet another use of our prized posession - a 'tail' joke. It goes as follows:

Q: Why are we monkeys so much better than humans at telling stories?

A: It's because we are always ready with a 'tail'!

Q: Why is the most beautiful damsel's story more popluar?

A: Because it's a fairy tail!

Q: Why is the story of Rapunzel so popular amogst the best groomers in our community?

A: Because it's a hairy tail!

Funny, aren't they? It might be tough for you to understand the true meaning of the creation. If you were unable to understand it, I will help you out - you were supposed to laugh. I know, it can be tough as you need to have an undestanding of art to appreciate such a masterpiece. I have also heard that the term "copy cats" has been catching on in your literature while it is actually we monkeys who are the true imitators in this world. There are few things left in this world that we do to spend our time and without it, we will stop having a purpose, and what is life without purpose? (Oh yes, we have watched Matrix as well). Why don't you spend some more time to try and comprehend the inner beauty of the 'tail' jokes while I devise a plan to protect our birth-right to imitate from the cats. Until then, goodbye, sayonara, au revoir, tschus, hukukoo!

My Tryst with Objectivism

2008-04-03T13:17:00.000-07:00

The first time I heard about it, it was from my brother - " If you think this is fat, check out Ayn Rand's books!". Then there was a long break before it resurfaced in the form of recommendations from two of my very close (and even more literary) friends. Still, the sheer size of the book managed to dissuade me from lifting it (you can't pick up an Ayn Rand, you have to lift it) till very recently. Then Mr. Greenspan joined my friends in praising the lady through his book, The Age of Turbulence, but my friends' (yes, the same literary ones') attempts to stop me from reading it later on, saying it would change me forever and they did not want me to change, served as the final nail in the coffin. As luck would have it, I found Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged in my dad's old worn out closet (that he so lovingly calls his library), and I started the process of discovering objectivism. Should I be scared? Books can't change me...or can they?
Today, a very dear friend of mine said she was confused and I volunteered to help her clear her doubts. Actaully, I know I could not have helped her much, as she is one of the most level-headed persons I have ever met, but I know she loves to talk about things like these - afterall, these are matters of Love! Now, I can't discuss the thing we actually talked about, but in the end, I gave her a suggestion which sounded very selfish to me then. Even my friend agreed that it was not a very nice thing to do (she actually used a much stronger word ;-) ) but I said that when the next 50 years of your life are at stake, it is okay to be a little selfish!
Rewind a couple of weeks - a friend of mine was very sad because his close friend's marriage had been called off, just weeks before he was supposed to tie the knot. The girl had found someone else. Back then, I don't think any of us approved of what had happened, but was there a better way out? Didn't the girl save her and the guy's future by not entering into a relationship which she knew had lost its foundation... and she had the right to ensure her happiness before the guy's, didn't she? Or did she? At such a price? But then, is there a price for happiness? Before a week had passed, I heard that both of them were actually doing much better than expected (thank God!).
Tonight, I think the girl had done the right thing. Instead of living a lie for the rest of her life, she had the courage to face the truth and come clean without the fear of society, friends and relatives. She was selfish in leaving her earlier boyfriend for someone else, weeks before their marriage , but was it wrong?
One week back, I would have said Yes; today I say No. Is this Ayn Rand's doing? Can she really influence the minds of young, educated people, even after her death? Is this the strength of books and thoughts? Am I better person now than I was a week back? Will I be more successful in life now? Just 100 pages into the book and it has my head reeling with these thoughts. But I am not the one to give up, to get scared and hide myself from radical ideas. I am a free bird, which knows where its home is, but doesn't mind migrating to places where the wind might take it. Bring it on Ms. Rand, I am ready for you!

The Day That Was!

2008-04-01T05:14:00.000-07:00

Today is April Fool's Day...a double edged sword! I don't know if you have felt it or not, but if all your attempts to make a fool of others are constantly thwarted, you tend to get the feeling that you are yourself the biggest fool around. Oh no, it wasn't me! I was speaking generally, voicing the emotions of those numerous poor souls who have been through this experience. I, on the other hand, am an expert in this art. So what if my pranks lack the creativity of a genius? Atleast my "Mom, dash dash is on fire!" got my mom to take a look at dash dash more than once. My mom got so tired of my numerous pranks today that she actually locked me outside my house. Ofcourse, later she tried to explain that she had locked the door and had gone to sleep but I, the smart one, am not so easily fooled, eh! Still, it is not the end of the day yet and I will have the last laugh. Here it comes... MuHuHahahaaa. What were you expecting - that I would pull a better prank than that? Lol! That's funny! ;-)

History in the Making

2008-03-31T06:28:00.000-07:00

Today, ladies and gentlemen, is a great day in the history of mankind (and monkeykind)! By some unimaginable amount of persuasion, this monkey has been forced to create a journal on the internet (what you humans call "Blog") and you are one of the first few visitors to view (afterall, that's what visitor do, dont they?) this masterpiece in the making (hee hee hee- that's how we monkeys laugh!). Converting monkey emotions into human language in the past lines has been very taxing for my brain and so, I must take a break (actually, food is calling and so is the parent monkey). But assure thee i must, this endeavour shall not stop here but go on and on and on and on... (we monkeys love to repeat things!) till the end of eternity. Here I must sign off - Hee He Hoo Hoo!!